I’m going to do about ten in this area, and then on to the next area.
How personally neurotic is this need for times and schedules and categories, and how generally neurotic is it (ie everybody does it)? If I buy more into general neurosis, is this any closer to wisdom? It’s interconnected, living, breathing, suffering, maybe delightful sometimes.
Here I’m going to start more explosively intersecting some excerpts from other parts. It is supposed to be a mix, mostly of my other writing.
There are, we’re told, no bystanders and no outside-standers. This is equivalent, I think, to saying there are no separate selves and things. But, of course, selecting and working with these terms creates a certain environment. Just thinking about and maybe picturing what bystanders and outsiders might be, various things come up. One that strikes me now is the sense of loneliness and isolation. Of course, that’s personal and specific for me right now, but it’s also related to TSK vision: part of the vision is based on the journey towards intimacy and unity in life, from being a bystander who lives in the midst of outside standers. – An Introduction to TSK
People require “personal space.” Think on that for sec.
I live in an Asian country right now (and will leave soon!). People often require less “personal space.” It took a lot of getting used to. When I had, though, it felt nice at times, really comforting. That space of comfort around myself was replace time and again by a comfort with people getting close to me. That was really pleasant. I’m thinking I might miss that. Proxemics is studied by sociologists, and according to one textbook, most Asian countries are considered high distance cultures. To me this seems wrong.
Of course, less distance doesn’t mean more intimacy, or less loneliness. But it’s part of the picture.
Of course, if you meditate, the loneliness and the interconnectedness become more pronounced as things start to melt down, and I won’t say, “melt down… in a positive way,” because it’s melting that is not as comfortable or safe as that. This might sound cool, but it’s accurate I think. Personal space starts to erode, and this has nice and not nice implications.
“The simplicity is hardheaded. You just sit down and do the practice. You bring yourself down to earth, over and over, with some gentleness and relaxation. “- 108 reflections on practice
I think that hardheaded simplicity has a number of functions. Like precision, it helps when things get rough. Practice does make things get rough. John Perks, a student of Trunpga Rinpoche, writes about how serving this teacher helped him grow, but also made his ego fall apart, a traumatic experience, according to him. He mentions that Trungpa emphasized precision and noticing details, and that this helped as Perks began to feel unmoored by the teacher’s powerful energy and unpredictability.
What about animals? I should go back to that too, I suppose. And then wrap up.
In Buddhist terms, the animal mentality is stupid, addictive, habitual, pushing forward on instinct. It’s similar to a god-like world experience, just less refined. They’re both considered to be “buddha family” expressions.
It’s almost impossible, I think, to say what waking up is like. It is not like being an addict, or a beast caught in instinct, or someone blissed-out by god type experiences of drugs, immersion in pleasancies, etc. The intense loneliness has to figure in. THere’s a music video I hate about that, comparing us to astronauts. Then the lead singer is obviously so self-involved (unlike me) and caught in being a kid (unlike me).
Animals communicate. People do too. Space figures in. We communicate via space. Space projects space into space. At one point do insanities become wisdom and vice versa? At what point do insanities become wisdom? What is crazy wisdom? When does simplicity become an escape for the fearful little creatures?
The feeling of being an outsider, or a bystander is not separate from interconnection either- something to be outside of. Again, space means relationship, and movement.